“Do you know what they call a rain that falls from the sky but never reaches the ground? They call it Virga.
Do you know what they call a love that leaves one heart but never reaches another? They call it love.”*
It feels strange to be back here. Just a few months ago I was complaining about having a partner that was easy to please ; which is one complaint I shan’t be making again anytime soon. It almost seems like a cycle of some sort – a vicious cycle. Another year, another solar festival, another heartbreak. I’m so tired of crying and yet Life always supplies me that one more reason to do so.
So what do you do? What do you do when love dies – suddenly, strangely, in mysterious circumstances – in one heart, but lives in the other? Of course, there isn’t one determined thing that “you do”, unless we count “trying not to go crazy as everything and everyone everywhere reminds you constantly of the huge, gaping wound in your heart.” The last time this happened to me, I turned to alcohol, which is one mistake I’m determined not to repeat. So this time, I’ve turned to Fire.
Of all the Elements, Fire is the most extreme : the most dynamic, the most transforming, the most uncontrollable and destructive. But not always. Sometimes, its extreme ability to change things with its tiniest touch can be very liberating. This is something we all feel. It’s an universal impulse to burn the photos or letters of unfaithful lovers – don’t pretend you never felt like it. Watching the flames consume those symbols of your pain can and does relieve the pain itself, if only for a moment. Practically all religions incorporate some form of Fire worship, and many – some scholars say that all – of them have started as a Fire cult. Because Fire is strange, wild, it can save you or it can kill you. Of course, this is true of all Elements, but what puts Fire at the top is the scale : you need a lot of water for it to hurt you, but you only need a tiny flame to feel its menace.
So, as I offered my love to the flames (symbolically, of course), with a little help from sage oil to make it burn easily, I felt much better and I strongly advise you, if you get these incendiary urges, to go through with them. With proper care and precautions, of course. These little rituals can speak to your subconscious much better than many therapists and “reasonable” advice you get from your family or friends**. Which is why I feel confident that I will finally get things going in here – there will be posts! There will be recipes! (just as soon as I stop alternating between my two favourite types of pasta, because, seriously, I’ve gotten way too fat from of all this.) And there will be a new book, since I’m working on a story that is partially inspired by The Person Concerned. So wish me luck, and stay tuned.
* This is not an exact quote, and I’m not telling you where it comes from because I don’t want you to know what a huge nerd I am. Suffice it to say that it was written by someone whose talent I truly admire.
** Alejandro Jodorovski said that one must address one’s subconscious “in its own language”, i. e. by simple, instinctive, sometimes irrational actions.