Green Pastry Puffs

oliwkiOne of the things I’ve never mastered in the kitchen is making pastry. I’m hopeless at baking, I can’t even make dumpling dough, and certainly not other, more complicated types of pastry. Fortunately, it can be bought in shops nowadays, so even complete pastry incompetents like me can bake something nice.
Of course, being too dumb to make the dough is not enough, I’m also too lazy to make any complicated stuffing for these things, which I call puffs (for puff pastry, and because they look like small pillows) but which would probably count as… small pies? I don’t really know.

Anyway, if You can get Your hands on some ready-made pastry of sensible quality, You can make those easily. If not, well… I know of people who are actually able to make it, out of raw components, I’ve seen them do it even (mostly in France, as it comes from there, they call it pâte feuilletée, while we call it “french pastry.” Original, I know), but it still looks like sorcery to me. Or worse, because I have some understanding of magic ;)
It’s easy to make and can actually impress some people, even if You don’t pretend it’s all Your work, because these things are rarely done at home. So, if You have guests coming and want to treat them to something less usual, these are a good idea. Plus, You can always make bats and other witchy patterns on them, Magrat-style.

Ingredients

  • Package of puff pastry
  • Green olives, shallots or leek – something green and strong-tasting (broccoli or cabbage don’t work)
  • Feta cheese or plain quark if feta is too salty for you – something white and cheesy
  • Onion
  • Garlic
  • Olive oil
  • Spices : I put rosemary and thyme because I had them, allspice is also good, but not too much of it. Basil, oregano, pepper, but go easy on the salt because cheeses have lots of it already. Generally, depending on the vegetables and cheese You choose the filling will need stronger or milder seasoning.

Preparation

farsz

Heat up olive oil on a frying pan. Dice, or slice, all the vegetables and cheese. Fry all the stuffing ingredients on the pan for just enough time  to melt the cheese – it’s going in the oven anyway so there’s no sense in doing the same work twice.  I usually dice the ingredients really small because I like a more homogeneous filling, but I know of people who like big, distinguishable bits of various vegetables, too.

Once You have something resembling a mass, take it off the fire. Spread the dough on a clean, flat surface, and cut it in rectangles. This can be done in several ways – You can cut squares, put the filling on their center, and fold the corners inwards. You can cut squares, match them in pairs and only put the filling on every second square, then mold them together. You can cut oblongs and place the filling on one half, then fold them over to cover it.

For this case I took the second method, and on the picture here you can see half of my dough with filling. When using puff pastry for pies with filling, it’s a popular way to leave parts of the filling uncovered, but for this one I don’t recommend it. You need to make more filling if you want it to show and it dries up too much.
So, mold your pastries however you choose, and put them in the oven over medium-ish to small heat. For this kind of dough (and, well, generally) it’s always better to under-do than to overdo, because if it’s not done yet you can always keep it in the oven a little longer, but once it’s burned, you can’t un-burn it.

A good rule of thumb for this kind of pastry is – if you can smell it from the oven, it’s nearing completion. Take them out when their colour satisfies you, but be warned – letting it past honey-amber colour is a bad idea. Filling will be very hot, so watch out.

paszteciki

Penne Primavera

The cheese didn’t make it to the picture… sorry about that.

So, this was going to be a french dessert made of peaches, but I’m waiting for a sunnier day to take pictures of that. What we have here right now qualifies for Summer the same way I qualify for a “happy young woman”. You know it could be it, but somehow, it never is. And, of course, when in doubt I tend to turn to pasta, which is all very well and delicious, but it does put those additional kilograms here and there. But, to hell with that – there has to be some pleasure in this life, otherwise what’s the point? Might as well take a big swig of hemlock right now if I’m going to deny myself even that.

This is a genuinely my recipe –  I’ve invented it. Of course, hundreds of people have probably invented it too, because it doesn’t take some huge leaps of imagination, but it’s good and easy and that’s what counts. I  call it Penne Primavera, because I like faux-italian names and alliteration, but it works just as well with tagliatelle, fettuccine or spaghetti. Actually, pretty much every pasta in existence (with the possible exception of orzo and other minute pasta, because they get lost in the sauce).

The only actual difficulty with this recipe is the timing, because the sauce is based on melted cheese so it sets if you take it off the heat. Which means you’ve got to time it with boiling the pasta so that you have both ready at roughly the same time. It’s generally better to have pasta waiting for the sauce than the other way around, because if you have the sauce ready, you either have to leave it on the stove, in which case it burns or gets too thick and dry, or take it off, in which case it sets and doesn’t spread like it should. But it’s nothing difficult, really.
Oh, and it’s probably the only pasta recipe in the world that doesn’t really benefit from being sprinkled with grated cheese. No, really – it won’t ruin the dish, but it adds… nothing very much. So leave that Parmesan for Aglio e Olio, Primavera doesn’t need it.

Ingredients

  • Shallots (whole) – one to start with and say half per additional person
  • Tomatoes – one fresh tomato per person
  • Feta cheese – about 80-100 g per person
  • Olive oil
  • Garlic
  • Spices – the good old mixture of pasta spices, as usual

Preparation

Shallots and un-melted Feta cheese

Start with putting on a pot for boiling pasta. Then, chop the whole shallots thinly, down to the last green strand. If you end up with a mountain of greenery, don’t worry – it’ll shrink in cooking. Pour olive oil into a frying pan and fry the shallots on mild heat, stirring from time to time. When they get supple and nicely warm (the colour doesn’t change much), slice the cheese into thin slices and put them on the pan. Thin slices mean it’ll melt faster, but still you should keep the fire small and cover the pan for a while – that way the cheese will melt and not fry.

In the meantime, peel the tomatoes with aid from some boiling water (I usually use the pasta water for that, since it should be boiling now ; if it is, put pasta in) and chop them into small bits – the smaller, the better.
Now check on the cheese – there should be a white-ish, grainy mass with bits of green in the pan. Put in the tomatoes and all the juice that might have spilled during chopping. Mix it all up, add chopped garlic and spices, and cook on mild heat until surplus water evaporates and you’re left with a thick, golden mass. It will stick to the spoon, it will stick to the pan, so frequent stirring is in order.

Once your pasta is ready, you can pour the sauce over it and serve.

Serving

With a cameo by Great-Grandma’s China Plate ™

This is a dish of distinct flavor, and a colorful, jolly appearance – hence the name. It is also quite full of calories, as pastas generally are, so accompany it with a salad at most, and not a fried-chicken-and-cheddar salad, either. Chilled white wine will suit it very nicely, but so will most pink wines and  some lighter types of red. There are no unpleasant odors involved so it’s a good dish for an elegant or romantic occasion.

Beware the Red Pest! And all the best, too

Hello, my dearest readers! As You can see, I’ve not abandoned the blog, but, to quote the poet,  I still haven’t found what I’m looking for. It being a way to add the damn pictures to the posts. I just can’t afford to buy a camera, and my cell phone does not have the function.

So, until I discover some way to make photos, I’m afraid updates will be rather rare, as I can’t imagine a wall of text would be a pleasant way to spend Your precious minutes on. However, I still feel obliged to give you the customary Beltaine blessings, and hope You’ve had a glorious celebration. Mine was… well, there wasn’t any this year, but that’s not important right now. Neither is the strange thing I’ve come to think of as a “relationsheepish anti-agreement”, so I’m not going to mention it. See? No mention at all.

Anyway, (who said that?) there’s this little pest I want to write You about, and I don’t mean the guy. I mean the Red Spider Mite. It’s a very common pest that can be very dangerous to Your plants, as a friend of mine has recently discovered. Following my advice, he bought a small mint plant in a grocery store and potted it for kitchen use. The plant did not do well, the leaves yellowed and changes in watering regimen did not help. Of course, it was infected with the red spider mites.
Now I’m not generally in favour of interfering with the natural order of these things, but keeping plants in pots at home is already quite far away from what’s natural, and actually it is for this reason that the red spider mite is much more dangerous for Your indoor, potted plants than for those that grow outdoors. Besides, there’s not much point in letting Your herbs die, and that’s exactly what will happen if You don’t take action against the damn things. I’ve lost a lovely lavender bush to them once, and it was a gift from my mother, too…

The worst thing is that these insects (or, more specifically, arachnida) are unnoticeable at first glance, and chances are You’ll only start to suspect something once Your plants are very far gone. The mites are tiny, barely visible red specs and keep to the underside of the leaves, constantly draining the sap. If You’re not specifically looking for them, You’ll probably only notice the thin web they weave under the leaves or close to the stem, and by then it’s usually too late. They also migrate from one plant to others nearby, so they can really be a pest. What’s more, practically all fresh herbs I’ve bought in a grocery store had at least a few of them, probably because the manufacturers’ sell them shortly after growth and don’t care if they die after You’ve bought them (or actually hope for just that).
Ironically, once You  know they’ve affected Your plant, the red spider mites are fought by the simple means of clean water. That’s right, no need for chemical stuff or complicated nettle and garlic macerates : just rinse the plant thoroughly under a cold shower (in extreme cases, You can use a sponge to wash it using water and soap, I’m not kidding), and then, spray the whole plant with clean water at least once a day. Just make sure You’ve not stopped too soon or the mites’ll breed back.

I’m writing all this now because I bought a second basil plant recently, after a prolonged inspection in the shop, since every plant was infected – finally I had to choose the one that had the least of them and fight the damn things at home. The salesman was very upset by this, probably on general principles since I wasn’t picking leaves or messing up the plants in any other way. When he finally cracked and asked me whether I “hoped to find a husband in there” (strange, I know) I said, “I don’t need a husband. And I don’t need tetranychus urticae, either.” Neither do Your home plants, so check up on them periodically, and blessed be.

Oh, and here’s the customary celebration music.

Cannelloni Verde

I’ve been facing quite a conundrum lately. You may have noticed already that I like cooking ;) . And I like eating, especially that which I have prepared myself – because I can make things exactly as I want them. However, those of you who do your own cooking will probably know that a cook shall always crave the consumer’s appreciation : we’ll put the plates on the table and then watch, hawk-like, for any telltale glances, eyebrow-twitching, tiny grimaces or sounds that can give us a clue. Do they like it? Or not??

Such is the fate of artists, I’m told, and a dreary one it is. I remember my father, for example, never muttering even a word of approval whatever Mother did, and actually deriding my brother for offering that which he knew she needed. Then again, no need to worry my readers about that kind of jerkassitude. Today, I’m facing a different problem. My new S.O. likes everything, will eat everything and be happy about it. Really.
And how’s  Kitchen Witch with cooking ambitions supposed to do? I mean, I can compose an exquisite symphony for a cheese quartet, and he’ll eat it and say, “It’s good, thank you” and then promptly give me a peck on the cheek and go to sleep. Or, I can bash some random vegetables into a pot, boil them yellow with a generous helping of groat, then proceed to add way too much salt, thus achieving something horrible and unfit for animals, because of the salt. And he’ll eat it and say, “It’s good, thank you”. And I know he means it, it’s not like he pretends so I won’t be hurt. It’s not really a problem, but it kind of demotivates me when it comes to cooking. In the end I just disregard him and do whatever I want, but feel bad about it.
All right, enough rambling. In spite of this terrible tragedy that is a partner easy to please, I have recently tried out a new recipe. It’s a pasta recipe and it’s got a faux-italian name,  so you can see everything is still normal around here.
Cannelloni is a type of pasta used for baking and not boiling. It’s made into tube shapes, not very long and with a large enough diameter (which varies) to allow stuffing. You can put pretty much anything in it, and here’s an idea.

Ingredients

  • Cannelloni pasta – you can buy it, it’s not that rare. The actual amount depends on how much can you fit in a baking dish.
  • Cheese – go with quark cheese if you want the spinach taste to come out. Feta cheese will get you a spicier, but still balanced dish (or you can mix those two). Choose camembert for a strong, piquant taste, though it will dominate.
  • Spinach – in 1:1 proportion with cheese
  • Leek (optional)
  • Onion – in 1:1 proportion with leek and 2:1 with spinach and cheese
  • Garlic
  • Olive oil
  • Sour cream
  • Herbal spices : rosemary, laurel leaf, black pepper, thyme, basil, tarragon and juniper are all good choices.

Spinach, onions, garlic and leek.

Preparation

Chop the onions and fry them on olive oil over medium heat. Add the spinach and garlic and  fry for a while (if you’re using frozen spinach, make sure you evaporate the water surplus). When you’ve got a nice, warm and not too runny green mass, add the cheese and leek. Simmer over medium heat to melt the cheese. At this point it will look utterly horrible, so you can frighten your kids with it. If you don’t want to, make sure they don’t see it as the sight will make them refuse to eat anything.

Once the unspeakable eldritch horror on your frying pan achieves a thick, smooth form, use a knife, a spoon, a kitchen baster or sheer force of will to stuff it into the raw pasta tubes. I repeat, just in case – you do not boil the pasta. If you do, it goes soft and you won’t be able to stuff it with anything. The stuffed tubes are then placed in a casserole (oil it up a little) and the surface covered in sour cream. This is important – if you bake them bare, the pasta will dry up even more and you’ll get hard, splintering shells. You need to keep the water in with a layer of cream. Some grated cheese can go on the surface, too. if you like.

Place it all in the oven and bake in medium heat – too much and it’ll just dry up to the point of in-edibility. It needs 30 to 40 minutes, when in doubt you can poke a pasta tube and see if it’s hard or softening.

This sounds a bit complicated, I know, but it’s actually a fairly simple recipe and useful if you want to create an illusion of haute cuisine without too much work. However, it has proven impossible for me to take a reasonable picture of the actual dish, so I’m sorry to say you’d have to take my word for it.
Serve with wine, depending on the contents (stuffing possibilities are endless). If there’s no meat in it, or it’s chicken, serve medium-dry white wine, as is the case with mine.

Golden cake

You ask What is life? That is the same as asking, ‘What is a carrot’.
A carrot is a carrot and we know nothing more.

- Anton Czechow

Well, not to correct the great one, but we do know something more. Namely, we know that it’s a root vegetable, rich in vitamins and particularly good for the eyes. But I’m sure I’ve mentioned all that before, so let’s skip to the interesting part. Now you might have noticed that I’m not really all that big on desserts – there aren’t that much recipes here, but I did put some up and none of them had been for desserts so far. That’s because, although I do like sweets and suchlike, I’m not really crazy enough about them to justify all that work when I can buy some fabulous desserts ready, such as ice cream.

But carrot cake is different, because it’s very rare around here for people to even have heard about it, let alone bake it, and You certainly can’t get it in shops. So, once again, the Kitchen Witch is left to her own devices.
I’ve tried a few recipes, and regardless of their degree of complication, they all had one thing in common : they didn’t work. Something always went wrong along the line and I was left with a disgusting, dripping mass of semi-transparent carrotish goo. Unfortunately,  the same happens with this one, only rarer. And it’s the simplest one, so I’m sticking with it.

Ingredients

  • Carrots – one glass of grated carrot. Everything else should be measured with the same glass.
  • Sugar – one glass of sugar, or a little less if You so prefer. I find that one glassful does not make it overly sweet, but less does not ruin it either.
  • Flour – one glassful of Your regular white flour.
  • Vegetable oil – half a glass. You can use cinnamon oil for better effect.
  • Eggs – two
  • Cinnamon – one spoonful (large spoon, not a teaspoon)
  • Baking soda – one full teaspoon

Preparation

Now comes the good part. All you have to do is mix the ingredients until You get a sticky, orange mass – no grinding, no kneading, nothing. The only actual bit of work You have to do is peel the carrots and grate them, after that You’re practically done. Just throw it all into a bowl and mix, then pour into a baking mold of Your choice. Give it an hour in a solid heat, about 200 degrees. (I still sometimes get it almost raw, and have no idea why. If anyone has any thoughts, please share.)

This is especially good if You want to serve a dessert that will still have some reasonable health benefit (for a dessert, of course). Symbolically speaking, carrots have always been associated with wealth, due to their golden sheen. A popular Jewish dish for New Year around here is a special kind of cymes that consists of carrot slices fried in honey to give them the appearance of golden coins. These were believed to bring fortune and prosperity in the coming year.

Speaking of New Years, I hope 2012 is generous for You when it comes to health, happiness, and peace. So blessings for the New Year – those of You that still wait for it, that is – and see You in 2012!

Celery and pepita

Si la femme savait ce que le céleri fait à l’homme,
elle irait en chercher de Paris à Rome

I forgot to include mayonnaise. Sorry about that.

Celery root. Big, gnarled, over-all strange looking. Important ingredient of many soups and salads, although rarely eaten raw. Actually, in many countries the root itself  isn’t known to be edible – my Mother made a small sensation in her day when, travelling in France, she mentioned a recipe that called for “celery, but not the green parts that grow above the earth. The part that grows below.” It had subsequently proved very difficult to obtain. And yet, it is a very valuable vegetable (VVV) when it comes to health concerns. Full of vitamins and minerals, especially recommended in cases of exhaustion and depleted strength such as recovering from an illness. It is also said to have an… invigorating influence on men, as the proverb above demonstrates, although I have not yet had an opportunity (or, indeed, a necessity ;) ) to find out. But if You can either corroborate or disprove the claim, I’d be happy to know.

So, how to eat it? Well, the simplest answers are often the best and it is certainly so in this case : a raw celery salad is the thing to do if You want to profit of all its properties in an enjoyable way. It is the simplest recipe imaginable, although today we’ll be making it a little differently, because we’ll be adding pepita instead of the usual sunflower seeds.

Pepita, or pumpkin seeds, are one of my favourite snacks and a great thing all round. They are also very appropriate for the season, as we’re nearing Halloween. Strictly speaking, I do not celebrate Halloween as such, and my Samhain celebrations tend to be a little chaotic at best, as there’s another holiday around where I live in the same time and it tends to interfere. But while usually I do my best with what I have, this year will be different, the reason being appropriately related to pumpkin seeds.
Because even though I made the actual salad (and the pictures) at home, as usual, I have subsequently packed it and took it with me as I left to spend the next five days… elsewhere. I have met someone and pumpkin seeds tend to be the leitmotif of our meetings. Right now I’m sitting on his couch typing this, and there’s a 1 kg bag of them beside me. Madness, but of the positive kind.

So, even though I was planning a feast of Samhein-related Witchcraft for my dear readers, once again I am limited to apologizing for the scarcity of my updates and placating You with a primitive recipe. But hey, it’s really good!

Ingredients

  • Celery root – they tend to be big, so half a root is more than enough for two
  • Pumpkin or sunflower seeds – as much as You like
  • Sauce base – this should be suited to Your tastes. Take mayonnaise for a rich, elegant effect, cream if You don’t like mayonnaise, natural yoghurt for the ultra-healthy version or olive oil if You are lactose intolerant/vegan
  • Thyme – preferably fresh
  • Green pepper

Preparation

This salad is simplicity itself.  Simply peel the celery (or indeed cut off the outer layer, as it’s hard to call it “peeling”), rinse the root and grate it on a big grater to receive solid, thick strands. Mix the sauce base – I always go with mayonnaise, I like mayonnaise – with thyme and just a bit of fresh ground pepper (green is best, You can add black instead but not red it doesn’t fit). Mix everything – the celery, the seeds, the sauce – and you’re good to go. This is a sister salad for carrot and sunflower, but since celery root is a bit spicy in itself, we’re not adding garlic here. And it’s more decorative, although it looks its best if other food you’re serving isn’t white. Usually I pair it off with roast potatoes.

For a more “exotic” feel, add some raisins. If You like raisins. And have a Spectacular Samhain!
Blessings.

Back for good. Rearranging the spice rack this time

The pentagram of spices! Beware!

Whew. This was a pretty hectic holiday, all things considered. Between my time in the mountains (no, not of madness), the fantasy convention – great as always but hard on the poor ol’ heart, as always – the damn house renovation and Death paying a visit to the family, things were pretty crazy. It’s all over now, though, and now I’m facing the dear drab everyday existence. It’s become so unfamiliar lately that I’m still having a kick out of boredom, but I know myself. This won’t last long.

The house is a little strange, what with me getting unaccustomed to it. It needs a solid scrubbing and I’m happy to oblige, as it takes my mind off… everything. And it’s a good way of making it mine again. There are numerous ways of marking Your own territory, and a good cleaning has the additional advantage of making things, well, clean. And now that I have successfully refurbished two rooms, I’m probably going to hit the kitchen pretty soon. Which leads me to the spice rack.

I don’t know what it is with a clean, orderly row of spice jars, but they are one of the most decorative sights I know while still being useful. There’s just something about all those shapes and colours and smells that makes me want to hoard them like some sort of foodie dragon. Huh, I guess I just like herbs and cooking. Who would have thought?
You can buy all sorts of stuff now to make that easy, like magnetic receptacles with rewritable labels, but I don’t really hold with that sort of thing. I stick to the little jars that my Mother used, which are over a twenty years old and already their shape looks original in a retro kind of way. And who needs labels? They detract from the thing itself, and if You need them to tell what is what then clearly You keep those herbs just for show.

So, do I have any advice to You spice hoarders? Sure, although I don’t really think anyone needs it. Keep the jars clean and shut. Use the same kind of receptacle for maximum contents exposure. Keep those spices that You actually use, otherwise they’ll go stale and unappealing. Always make sure the jars are absolutely dry before putting something in them – and, for this reason, avoid pouring the spices into pots directly from the jars when cooking. They get damp from the steam and that’s not good for the contents. Spoons were invented for a reason. Some spices may not like being exposed to sun – check it out beforehand. And remember – there’s nothing wrong with suddenly grabbing a jar of, say, cinnamon, and just taking a sniff. No, that does not mean I’m weird. I mean You.

It’s good to pick KW up again. And there will be recipes, although probably no cake.

Thyme (thymus vulgaris)

I know a bank where the wild thyme blows,
Where oxlips and the nodding violet grows,
Quite over-canopied with luscious woodbine,
With sweet musk-roses and with eglantine.
- Midsummer Night’s Dream

The common thyme. Strong, fresh scent, beautiful, small leaves and the resilience of something much bigger and tougher. This ancient herb has been used by many nations throughout the world since antiquity, respected for its antiseptic and preservative qualities that could be profited of by cooks, medics and even embalmers. Even nowadays, many throat remedies are still made of thyme, coltsfoot  and marsh mallow, despite all the progress in pharmacology.

Thyme is an easy herb to keep, even in a pot on your windowsill. It likes sunny spots best, but will actually make do anywhere, as long as there’s some direct light. It does not need a lot of water – indeed, too much of it can hurt the plant – and will struggle along even if You forget about it for a week, which makes it a good start for beginner herbalists. Even dried up and brown, the plant will regain almost all of its strength when taken care of.
If You want to have some fresh thyme at home, the best way to go about it is to buy a live plant. Thyme is very difficult to raise from seeds and is usually propagated by cuttings, even by professionals. If You bought a plant and want to put it in a pot, remember that thyme is a survivor ; it has evolved to withstand harsh conditions and those are the ones that suit it best. The most important thing here is to keep the soil well-drained. But don’t worry : just take the intended pot and fill the bottom with a 3 to 4 cm layer of stones (gravel or sea pebbles, anything small) and the rest with soil. This will make Your plant feel right at home.
Thyme can also be used to great effects in gardens, as it really is rather decorative, very resilient and can take severe cold well. An interesting fact is that ants like to make nests among thyme roots, and gardeners have successfully drawn ants away from an undesirable spot by planting thyme bushes somewhere else.

Culinary uses

Because of the strong aroma, thyme herb is a great seasoning for all those dishes that need an extra zing. Meats of all kinds can benefit greatly from being marinated in olive oil and thyme (and will keep longer).  It’s a great ingredient for all kinds of salads and casseroles where the taste would otherwise be too bland. The only problem is that the leaves are very small, and if You have a live plant, You’ll have to pick quite a lot of them and it becomes tedious after a while. But that’s hardly a real disadvantage.

Medicinal uses

Thyme is most commonly used as an antiseptic, due to high concentration of essential oils. Most common use for it are throat infections, which can be treated with infusions, thyme oil (it’s hard to make as it has to be distilled twice, so at home best stick to infusions) or some more complicated recipes I will not dwell on right now. It is also used to stimulate the digestive system and can raise blood pressure, although not enough to be any danger to patients suffering from hypertension. Usually. Of course, ultra-high concentration of thyme oil should be avoided by them, but then again, it’s not likely to come across that sort of dose anyway.

Magic uses

In magic, thyme can be used to great effect. Due to the strong and persistent nature of the plant, it can be used in charms  to grant courage and resilience. The potent, healthy aroma invigorates the spirit and clears thought similarly to lavender, but with more emphasis on action. Thyme can also be used to ward off nightmares, be it the fresh herb, the dried herb used in a witch bag, or incense. It is definitely worth to keep this small, but noble bush at home.

What kind of pasta is on your plate?

Just sharing this nicely done and very helpful poster, found on Charming Italy. It’s a clear, very comprehensible, visual guide to all the different kinds of pasta a lover of Italian cuisine might bump into.

All hell just broke lose in my apartment in the form of a partial renovation, so I probably won’t have much time to cook and post about witchcraft, seeing as my kitchen is full of cardboard boxes stuffed with stuff and everything else is… somewhere. I think. So just be blessed and profit of the nice weather.

Spaghetti aglio e olio

Aglio e olio ingredientsI really need to keep some decent intervals here, but unfortunately, nobody is yelling at me if I forget to post. It doesn’t help that I’m hopelessly lazy and short on herbs to write fillers about. So instead of trying to fight it, I’m going to yield to my nature (nice and mystic excuse, isn’t it?) and post the ultimate Lazy Recipe today.
This is what You do when You have no ingredients for other, more complicated dishes, or when You are dead against doing any work. It’s quick, it’s easy and it’s delicious. Quite healthy, too. So if there’s need to impress someone and do it fast, or just whip up something tasty while being absolutely exhausted, this is what You need.

Spaghetti aglio e olio – meaning literally ‘garlic and oil’ – is the simplest pasta recipe You could ever come across. Its only downside is that the ingredients must be of reasonable quality, because every little fault will show in a dish so simple. So use good, fresh garlic, high quality cheese (italian hard is best here) and only, absolutely only, olive oil. Other oils, even expensive ones such as grape seed oil, do not have the same aroma and they will result in something dull and bland.

Ingredients

  • Spaghetti no. 5 – as usual.
  • Garlic – three cloves per person at least.
  • Olive oil – quite a lot, for this particular dish, since it doesn’t contain anything else. But the exact amount depends on how oily You want it to be.
  • Cheese – a healthy amount of strong, piquant cheese. Grana padano is Your best bet, followed by parmesan.
  • Green olives – optional.
  • Seasoning herbs - fresh basil, oregano, maybe fresh rosemary  (sometimes, fresh parsley is used for this dish).

Tools

  • A frying pan big enough to hold everything is necessary, because You will be throwing all of the pasta onto it.
  • A (wooden) pestle if You want to do it my way.

Preparation

Since the ‘sauce’ consists of garlic heated with olive oil, there’s not much to do. So get the water for boiling the pasta ready, because everything else can be done while spaghetti is already in. As You wait for the water to reach the boiling point, grate the cheese and dice the olives if You feel like adding them.
As the water boils, put the pasta in. Remember to stir it so that it won’t stick.  Peel the garlic cloves and slice them, then pour olive oil onto the pan and heat it up.

Mashing garlic

Smashing pumpk- er, mashing garlic on a frying pan.

Now Your regular aglio e olio recipe will tell You to chop the garlic into small bits and toss it into the oil. But if You do that, You end up with garlic-flavoured oil (which is good) and small bits of semi-fried garlic that fly around and inevitably fall down to congregate on the bottom of the plate (which is bad). What we want, on the other hand, is a smooth mix of oil and garlic that spreads nicely on our pasta. So what do we do?
This is where the wooden pestle comes in. I say wooden, because I use a teflon-covered pan, but even for other kinds wood is the best material to use here. I’m certainly not going to bash at it with my marble pestle, especially since it wouldn’t accomplish much.

If You have a wooden pestle, slice the garlic and put the slices straight onto the frying pan. Then, use the pestle to mash the garlic while mixing it with the oil already there. Why, do You ask? Well, You could mash it in a mortar, but then You would have to transport it from one utensil to another and a) lose some of it in the process, b) have to wash all that has been used to do it. Mashing it straight on the pan prevents all that and ensures that all of our garlic ends up in the dish, while resulting in a smoother, more ‘sauce-like’ mixture.
If You’re not going to do this, chop the garlic into fine pieces and add it to the oil. Either way, heat them up together, stirring from time to time. Watch out not to overdo the heat – the garlic must not brown.

When spaghetti is ready (according to Your personal tastes), drain it and put all of it onto the pan where the garlic is cooking. Mix it gently to spread the oil and garlic on all of Your pasta. Add the seasoning and cheese – You’re done.

Aglio e olio

Little known fact about this dish - it isn't very photogenic.

Despite this long and rambling description, aglio e olio can be made in approximately 15 minutes. And, despite the not very impressive picture above, it’s a delicious dish. Yes, You do end up with more or less ‘bare’ pasta with green bits here and there and some cheese on top, but it’s still great. So great, in fact, that I got tired of trying to take a fancy picture of it and ate it.
Dry or semi-dry white wine is recommended – red might come out as too aggressive.

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